Preggo Paranoid Freak

 

On Saturday (March 6th) I'll be exactly 6 months pregnant!

YAAAAY :-D

I have a doctor's appointment today & let me just say...I'm a paranoid mess!

The week I have a doctor's appointment, I'm always freaking out! I have a hard time sleeping, I over think everything...I'm just scared out of my mind. Then after the appointment, I feel good for about 3 weeks until that next appointment gets closer to being here.

I'm constantly scared something is going to happen. I'm always worried I'm going to go to my appointment & not hear her heart beat or find out something is wrong with her. I'm just in constant fear for her life & well being.

It probably doesn't help much that I'm always reading online & different books about pregnancy & all the bad things that can happen & other women stories about their loss & everything scares me! I don't want to do the wrong thing that affects her health or...makes me loose her.

Me & Joe are already so in love with her & we have always wanted to be parents & now we have this little Angel growing inside me, I couldn't bare it if something were to happen to her. I keep telling myself it will be easier when she is born & I know she is here & ok. But I doubt that. I keep reading about a bunch of other things you have to worry about when they are born. I'm just going to be a paranoid mess for the rest of my life!

I keep praying that God just gets my baby girl in this world safely & praying that He give me the strength to calm down & just know its all in His hands. I'm trying, but maybe I should pray a bit harder because I just can't relax. I love her so much & I just want her here & safely & healthy :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!

Yep, my Hubby is finally 22! I can now not feel like a cougar for the next few months! LOL! (I'll be 23 on June 26th...& that is also when my baby girl is due!)

I just have to say, I'm so happy & in love with Joe. I truely grow more & more & deeper & deeper in love with him everyday. I know that might sound cheesy, but it is true. He is my very Best Friend & he just makes me the happiest!

Its so funny because he has been complaining about how "un-fun" his birthday is going to be this year. He works, & I work plus I have class tonight. So I told him that we'll do dinner & a movie tomorrow (Friday) but he keeps saying he wished we were doing something else.

Hahaha! That dork! 

He has no idea I have friends & some family meeting us at the BJ's restaraunt tomorrow night as a surprise dinner! He better feel like such a butthead after he realizes what I did for him. Hahaha! He'll have fun. I wanted to do something at our house, but there is no way I could have pulled that off without him knowing because we work & get home at the same time. So I hope the suprise dinner is good enough.

Our Baby's Name

Our baby girl is going to have the name Kiana (say it like Key-On-Nuh).

We picked this name because Joe being Samoan, we wanted a Samoan or Hawaiian name somewhere in her name. (He has Hawaiians in his family too & Samoans & Hawaiians use pretty much the same names for the most part).

Joe has a huge family & I thought there would be no name left that hasn't been used. LOL. But my Dad was watching tv & saw this fitness Hawaiian woman named Kiana & he told us about it & me & Joe just fell in love with it right away.

Not only is it a pretty name, but no one in Joe's family (at least no one that we have met) has the name so that was a total plus.

I have looked up the meaning of the name & its the Hawaiian form of Diana. But I have read a few places that it means "Heaven" or "Heavenly" but then a few places don't give a meaning. So whether it means "Heavenly" or not, we love the name & its a great name for our little Princess.

Now as far as the middle name goes, we are going back & forth on that. I have always liked when girls have boy names & I originally wanted her first name to be a boyish name but when we found we liked Kiana, we thought we could do a cute boy middle name.

The 2 we thought of are Rei (say it like Ray) & Jo (after her Daddy).

Kiana Jo or Kiana Rei

We switch back & forth on the middle name & I think once we see he were are just going to know & decidde right then & there.

I love having her name already picked out because I feel like its made a bit of a stronger bond for me & my  baby girl in my tummy. I already want her here because I am already in love with her & I can't wait to officially meet her!

My One Eyed Pup

Last October, I surprised Joe with a puppy! We had been talking about getting a dog & researching & he was gone for a few days & I told him I'd go look at some dogs. We really wanted a rottweiler (I had finally convinced him a great dane wasn't happening-LOL) & we wanted a female.

I found people who had a male & female left & the price was perfect & they were full blooded rottweilers. She said someone was coming to get the female but if we got there first, we could have her. I sent my brother over to get her & he fell in love with her instantly & he got her!

I came home to this adorable 6 week old puppy girl & she was wearing a Dodger scarf already from her Uncle ;-) She was so cute & so sweet & so little. I lied & told Joe that the female was gone & we'll keep looking. He was so bummed & thought that we'd never find a good dog.

Well he came home 2 days later & was surprised at the door by a cute little puppy running up to him! He was so happy! Joe has never had a pet before (well we got the cat 2 years ago but she is attached to me) so he was thrilled! I even let him name her & he gave her a stupid name I hate...Roxy. But oh well, its his dog. He cleans her poop, he can name her right?

Anyways, Molly (our cat) & Roxy have played & chased each other from day one. But one day they were playing & Molly made a mistake & cut Roxy's eye. I know she didn't mean to because ever since that moment, she doesn't put out her claws anymore. Roxy's eye was messed up. It was gooey & white & we took her to the vet every 2 weeks for about 2 months & they kept giving us different eye drops to use on her & said she wasn't blind.

The the blue/white eyeball grew about twice its size. Have you seen the 'Harry Potter' movies? The Professor with that creepy eye named Mad-Eye Moody? Thats what she looked like. It was sad, I don't have pictures of her with her eye like that because it was gross & sad.

The Vet finally said she had to loose her eye :-( The pressure was making her eye grow & it wasn't going to get better with anymore eye drops. So we had to say bye bye to eyeball :-( I feel bad, I cried about it, but she is better off. Plus her one eye makes her look bad ass. She didn't even act sad or tired or anything but happy after the surgery. She was her happy self! I'm glad she is all better but I still get sad everytime I see her one eye.

Molly & Roxy still play & like I said, Molly never uses her claws anymore. She really likes the dog & likes to watch her play outside. They are best friends, or maybe more like frenemies. Hahaha!

Today I had to take Roxy to get fixed. Hopefully this is her last Vet trip. I cried when I dropped her off because she soooo did not want to be there. She knows that place too well & I feel awful. But after today I pray I never have to take her back!

21 Weeks

Yep...my belly is actually pregnant looking now :-)

I love it though! I really do enjoy being pregnant! I just don't like the acne (I never had it til now) & I can see my face is starting to get pudgy! But oh well, when I get the ok to work out for reals, I will. But I have been walking just about everyday the whole pregnancy & I'm going to keep that up because it does make me feel a lot better & I know its good for me & Kiana :-)

I can't believe I'm half way there! I can't believe in just a mere few months, I'm actually going to be a Mom! I really, really, really can't wait!

I know its going to be hard & difficult at times, but I'm ready for it. I've always wanted to be a Mom & now I'm going to be & every little thing, no matter how good or bad, is going to be more than worth it!

My Mom is a smart lady.

I go to her whenever I need advice & she is usually right ;-)

She sent me this in an e-mail a couple of years ago, & I go back & read it anytime I'm down about friends. Its really helpful & it certainly makes me feel better.

Maybe it will work for you too :-)


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is...you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance & support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a God send & they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up & force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fullfilled & their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered & now it is time to move on with your life.


Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it because it is real.
But only for a season.


Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person & put what you have learned to use in all other relationships & areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind!
But friendship is clairvoyant.

Kiana's Tinkerbell Palace

Yes, my sweet Kiana Jo is going to have a Tinkerbell bedroom!

Tinkerbell's main colors are green & purple. Its been really hard deciding how to go about her room & what to do. I want her to be able to grow with it too & I just have so many ideas & narrowing them down has been hard.

Plus, Joe has been working a lot (whats new) so we haven't had the time nor the energy to start painting her room. Once the room is painted, everything else will be easy. But I'm thinking that in the next 3 weeks, we'll have it done. Hopefully!

Anyways, I was thinking about painting her room a pretty, light purple. Then having a border going thru the middle of the wall either that white baseboard (I know there is another name for it but I don't know what it is at the top of my head) or an actual Tinkerbell border (either the wall paper kind or me painting with stencils a border).

Then I want to accent the room with that pretty green Tink has on her dress.

If anyone sees any Tink bedroom stuff or knows of any good ideas, PLEASE let me know! Just e-mail me samanthabranson@hotmail.com anytime because I want this perfect & I am not really the most crafty person!