Loving The Mommy Life :-)

I am so in love with my daughter! I can't get enough of her! Just looking at her makes me so happy! She is seriously the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on! Every day she does something new to make me smile & laugh. I love watching her grow, but at the same time I wish I could stop time & she can just stay 7 weeks old. Its bitter sweet watching her grow. You just want her to stay little forever, but its amazing that she is so healthy & growing so well. She already makes me so proud!

Luckily get 6 more weeks off paid so by the time that is up she will be 3 months old. I still won't be ok leaving her, but I have to go make money for her. LOL! But I am in school & I finally got in the Human Anatomy 101 class I needed, so I'm leaving her 2 days a week with my Dad for the 4 hours I'm in class. I cry every time I drop her off. I know she is in great hands, but I just hate leaving her. In class I look at her pictures & just miss her. I call my Dad every time we have a break to make sure she is ok & she always is of course because she is a perfect baby.

I'm so happy Kiana is all mine! I can't imagine this life without her now & I even wonder how did I ever live without her before?! I didn't even know what happiness was til she came in my life! I can tell Joe feels the same way! He works really, really long & hard hours on the ship & its not a really fun job. He'll call me to let me know he is on his way home & I can tell he is in a bad mood. But as soon as he walks in & sees this gorgeous face of hers, he melts & he is instantly happy.

The both of us also don't worry about the small stuff anymore. We aren't concerned with having the best of the best or going out every weekend or seeing every movie that comes out. We are just happy to be spending our time with our little family. She is just everything to us & I can't thank God enough for bringing her in our lives.

FINALLY! I SAW ECLIPSE!

So last Sunday I was brave enough to leave Kiana for about 2 hours to go see ECLIPSE with my Mom. Holy crap it was freaking AMAZING! I loved the book so I expected great things for the movie & it did not disappoint! Of course I was just so happy because I freaking loooove Taylor Lautner/Jacob Black. (But I thought there could have been some more shirtless scenes with him...but thats just me) I think the movie was great! Of course the books are still better, but the movie was awesome. 

I was also proud of myself for leaving Kiana. Joe had duty so she stayed with my Dad & brother & she did great. She was only fussy for a little bit they said but then they calmed her down. I better get used to leaving her because I will be back at work soon but its too hard. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it!

UGH! TIME TO VENT!

I just need to vent my anger over a few things about today!

1. THE STUPID NAVY SHIP MY HUSBAND IS ON! That ship is having these sailors come home sooo late! Some of them live in San Diego by the base so they aren't getting home as late as the rest of them who live an hour or 2 away from the base (like us). Joe hasn't been getting home til about 8:00pm at night everyday! Its so sad because he just walks in, showers, eats, spends a bit of time with Kiana before she goes to bed & then he is in bed by 9:30pm because he has to leave the house by 4:30am or earlier. This is insane! Then this past weekend he had duty (24 hour shift, every sailor does it every 8 days) & then he had to work another 10 hour day on Sunday, then a 14 hour day on Monday. Now he is underway & he didn't even get to come home last night & they weren't leaving til tonight! But they changed that & I had to bring clothes to him! So now he either won't be home til Saturday night, but he'd stay there anyways because he has duty Sunday, or the ship won't get in til Monday! I am just so mad! I know how hard he works & I'm just pissed that he isn't getting any time with his new daughter. Poor guy!

2. THE STUPID TIME WARNER CABLE COMPANY! Now I have cancelled with Time Warner last month after I paid that month's bill. We got a way better deal with Verizon & Time Warner had increased our monthly bill from $100 a month to just about $200 & could never explain why! So I cancelled them, returned the equipment & was done right. Wrong. They then send me a $400 bill! So I call them explained what I just told you & they said, "Oh no problem. We will fix this. Now you don't owe anything." Great. Now I have another $400 bill in the mail! I have to call them AGAIN & if they send me another bill after this phone call I'm going to do some serious ass whooping!

3. MY STUPID PETS! Molly is making my allergies act up which is so weird because I have never had a problem with her. But thats not why I'm mad at her, she keeps rubbing up on the computer & my hands while I am typing. Then she keeps attacking the bedroom door where Kiana is asleep so she can go scratch her bed! Ugh! Then Roxy is just barking & barking for no freaking reason at all! Freaking animals need to chill the hell out!

4. THE STUPID UNKNOWN SMELL IN MY HOUSE! I don't know where this stink is coming from! I have tried following it everywhere but there is no source! It smells like mildew but I can't find it! The last time we had this smell it was some food Joe left in the fridge but its not coming from the fridge. So my house stinks & I can't fix it or find it where its at!

5. THE STUPID BEST BUY SALES DOUCHER! They told me the Mac could not use Microsoft Word so they had me buy this super expensive program that is cool but no one has the technology to support the documents when sent to them (like I'm trying to upload & e-mail my resume out to companies). So I just wasted like $80 on this damn thing.

Lord, please make this day get better!

KIANA = 1 MONTH

I can't believe my Baby Girl is now 1 month old (July 30th)!

The time has seriously flown by! I know she is only a month, but that is super old to me at this point! She is starting to focus on people really good now & she is now smiling! Its gets more & more everyday! She is also trying really hard to lift her head up a lot. She is super social & likes to be sitting up whenever she is awake.

For the most part, she is kind of on a schedule. We have only had a hand full of "bad" days where she was just fussy & not going according to her schedule. But nothing we haven't been able to handle.

She is still breast feeding. I am hoping I can do it for a couple of months. I'm scared when I go back to work it will slowly lessen & I won't be able to anymore. I know it might be weird but I will be sad when I can't anymore. That is our own personal time together & its kind of neat knowing that I'm the only one who is able to feed her. It sounds a bit selfish but I'm just being honest.

I can't get over how much I fall more & more in love with this precious angel every day! Every day she is just making me smile & laugh & happy. I dread going back to work. I don't want to leave her. But Mama has to help Pappi pay the bills. I'm hoping we'll just win the lotto & then I can stay home with her all the time!

ECLIPSE!!!!

I bet you think I'm about to talk about how much I loved the movie 'Eclipse' & how sexy Jacob Black is & how annoying Bella is. Well guess what? I'm not doing that at all! I'm about to complain that I have NOT seen the movie yet!

'Eclipse' came out on June 30th & that was the same day my precious Angel was born! So I didn't see the movie...but I did something way better with my time...I GAVE BIRTH!

With the movies 'Twilight' & 'New Moon' I went the midnight showings & I did have fun. But seeing as how I was due any day when 'Eclipse' was coming out, I didn't want to do the midnight showing because I was just way too uncomfortable & way too pregnant to be standing in a line & being jammed crowded by all those screaming, annoying Twi-Hards. 

Yes I'm a Twi-Hard too & I'm proud of it...but it doesn't mean I like other Twi-Hards...they are annoying. LOL!

But my plan was if I was still pregnant on June 30th, I was going to go see the movie with my Mom, but I ended up being in the hospital on June 29th & I didn't even remember 'Eclipse' until someone mentioned it to me days later.

I haven't seen it yet because I haven't wanted to leave Kiana yet. I have only left her for about 30 minutes while I ran to the store & Joe watched her. I'm breast feeding too so I'm her food source so I can't really leave her either.

My Mom & I might go this Saturday to see it (I know its killing her too that she hasn't seen it either) but I'm still hesitant on leaving Kiana. She'd be with my Dad (because Joe will be working) & its not that I don't trust him, I'm just really scared to leave her still. It will only be 2 hours I know but I'm just not sure if I can handle it. Its still up in the air but I have to see the movie before its not in theaters anymore so I need to either wait it out some more or suck it up & just go!

Back To Work :-(

I didn't go back to work...but the Hubz did today :-(

He got 2 weeks off for paternity leave & it ended today. I could tell he was sad. Not only did he enjoy being home & being able to relax & do nothing, but he got to spend time with his new Baby Girl...oh & me.

We really didn't do much at all, but it was nice. We liked not HAVING to HAVE to do anything. Sometimes I think we all need that. Plus, we just laid around enjoying getting to know our precious Angel. It was amazing!

I know in a few weeks I'm going to have to go back to work too. I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from Kiana. I'm trying not to think about it right now. I'm praying we win the lotto so then neither of us ever have to work again & we can just be home with your Baby Girl. LOL!

But for now, I'm just going to focus on spending time with Kiana while I can. I'm going to try & develop a schedule with her the best I can (I know that is pretty impossible with newborns but we will try) & keeping the house clean, cooking for Joe & of course job searching (thats another story for another day though).

But right now as my precious Angel is asleep, I should be doing some more cleaning. But I just needed some time to get a few things off my chest & just express how much I miss Joe right now. I know he is missing Kiana like crazy right now too & that makes me even more sad. Poor guy :-(

I'M A MOMMA NOW :-D

CONGRATS TO ME BECAUSE I'M A MOMMA...FINALLY!

Yes on June 30th, 2010 at 6:30am, I gave birth to the most gorgeous baby girl, Kiana Jo Branson! She weighed in at 7lbs & 10 oz & was 21 inches long!

On Monday the 28th, my water broke, but it was more of a leak. So I went to the hospital because I was going to be induced anyways the next day (Kiana was due on my birthday & obviously that came & went) but they sent me home saying it wasn't my water (but come to find out...it was). Then at 2:30am on the 29th, my water really broke. But I didn't rush to the hospital. I called my Mom a few times wondering "Is this really it? Should I go?" I didn't know because I didn't want to be sent home again, but at about 5:00am I finally decided to go & got everything ready & me & Joe & my Mom headed to the hospital.

I wasn't having any contractions so they gave me some of those drugs to push things along. I didn't want any pain meds or the epidural but I ended up doing just that. I was in labor for freaking 28 hours & I was shaking like a psycho with pain. Plus my Hubby was getting way too upset seeing me in pain, he begged me to do the epidural...so I did. I'm glad I did too, I still felt pain while pushing Kiana out, but not as bad. So finally my little girl joined the world at 6:30am.

I have to say, Inland Valley was an amazing hospital & all the nurses were so amazing to me! They were so nice & helpful, I really enjoyed it there-so to speak-because of how amazing that staff was! If you are a Momma to Be in this area, go there to have your baby...you won't regret it!

But anyways, June 30th was the best day of my life! As soon as I laid my eyes on here I immediately thought, "She is a tiny Joe!" I even said it! Then I looked at my Husband & the both of us were just a mess of tears & just saying how much we loved each other & how much we loved her & thanking each other for making her...it was without a doubt the best moment in my life. I am sure Joe would agree as well.

Now that I have Kiana, I know what true love is. I have such a deep & unconditional love her for & for Joe. Nothing in this world matters more to me then her & Joe. They are my life, my heart, my everything. I never want to know a world without either of them. I wonder all the time now, "How did we ever live without Kiana?" I feel like she should have been in our lives a long time ago. She is perfect & wonderful & sooooo beautiful. I just stare at her constantly thinking I am so blessed & so beyond lucky. What did I do right in this world to deserve her? She is definately my little Angel.

I also feel a deeper love & connection with my parents because I now know exactly how they feel about me & my brother. I always knew they loved us more than anything, but now I know how that feels because what I feel for Kiana is what they feel for me. I also now know what they meant when they have said for years & years, "You'll understand when you have kids of your own..." yep...I do understand Mom & Dad :-)

Even though I have only been a Momma for 2 weeks, its by far the best thing I have ever done. Its the best job & title I will ever have. I am very excited to be a Momma for the rest of my life. Kiana is amazing & she continues to just make me & Joe smile & laugh with every little thing she does. I am very excited for this journey of parenthood & I could not ask for a better partner in this either.